A little prayer

Apparently, this little prayer is showing up on Facebook:

Let Us Bow our Heads..... Dear God I come to you as humbly as I know how. I confess my sins, those known and unknown. Lord you know I am not perfect and I fall short everyday of my life, but I want to take time out to say thank you for your mercy. Thank you for my health, my family and my friends, the roof over my head, food on my table, and everything I have..... AMEN RE-post if GOD has blessed you in any way

Nice, isn't it? I do have a couple issues with it (besides the obvious). "I confess my sins, those known and unknown." How? How can I confess my unknown sins? If I don't know about them, then it's not very reasonable of me to feel guilty about them. That way leads to paranoia. This line goes back to the idea that we are constantly, in thought and deed, sinning, i.e., pissing God off. Sure, we sometimes do things that are unethical, but we haven't realized that they are unethical. If someone points out such a thing, and convinces me that I've committed an unethical act, then I'll cop to it, and do what I can to correct the situation. That would be appropriate. Assuming that I've done something wrong without it being shown to me, not so appropriate.

"Lord you know I am not perfect and I fall short everyday of my life,": well, I'm not perfect by my own standards, but I wouldn't say that I fall short every single day. Some days, I do pretty damn good, thank you very much.

"but I want to take time out to say thank you for your mercy." : I have a pretty good life, but even so, as I look around, if this is mercy? Well, then God has an odd idea of mercy. Rather, I would say "thanks for not being an even bigger asshole."

As for the rest of the thanks, let me take them one by one.

"Thank you for my health,": Yes, thank you to my doctor and dentist, and their staffs. Thank you to my insurance company. Thank you to those who have taught me good health habits, and those who have encouraged me to maintain those habits I follow. Thank you to the supervisors and human resources manager at a previous employer who worked with me to give me the time I needed to get healthy when I was constantly sick, helping me with the medical leave paperwork, and keeping the job for me for when I was able to return. Thank you to my wife for the joy that research shows is helping me be healthier.

"[Thank you for] my family and friends": Thanks Mom for all your hard work and sacrifice over the years. I know it wasn't easy, and I hope you feel it was worth it. Thanks to my stepdad, for all your help both for me and Mom. Thanks Grandpa for teaching integrity by example. Thanks to the extended family for all the good times, and the help in the bad times. Thanks to every friend (and honestly, the best friends become family) that has ever shared a good time with me, and helped me through the rough times. Thank you for saving my life when I was suicidal. Thank you for teaching me about difference, and having fun in new ways. Thanks to my best friend, the man who has become a brother to me, for all the conversations that lasted for hours, and for letting me borrow your books. Thanks to my wife for sticking with me through all my bullshit, and for sexing me up so often (and for anyone who thinks its somehow crass or "not done" to give thanks for sex, are you saying you aren't grateful when you get laid? for shame). I could go on like this for hours, but thanks to you all, even if you aren't mentioned specifically.

"[Thank you for] the roof over my head," : Thank you to our realtor, you were great and actually listened and worked for us. Thanks to the mortgage broker dealing with us through email and phone calls, and getting us a great rate that let us have a better house than we thought we could afford. Thanks to the bank for the mortgage. Thanks to my in-laws for lending us money for the downpayment. Thanks to the roofers who fixed the roof. Thanks to the seller's realtor who talked his client into taking our offer, and thanks to the seller. Thanks to the guy who fixed our heater.

"[Thank you for] the food on my table": Thank you to everyone who works in the grocery store, and the chain of supply behind you. Thank you to my employer for giving me a job that pays well enough to get food on my table. Thanks to all the farmers. Thanks to the credit card company that I too often have to use to put said food on my table.

"[Thank you for] everything else": Thank you to my educators. Thank you to the police. Thank you to the soldiers. Thank you to construction crews that fix the roads. Thank you to everyone who ever wrote a book. Thank you to the bloggers who give me so much to think about and enjoy. Thank you to the journalists who inform me about the world. Thank you to the scientists who discover the universe's wonders. Thank you to everyone who has ever challenged my views, and not shied away from the discussion. Thank you to my internet and cable provider. Thank you to the inventor of Pepsi. Thank you to the garbage man. Thank you everyone for everything you've ever done for me.

While I didn't include everyone in those paragraphs that I should thank, one name that doesn't deserve to be there is "God." It's pointless to thank someone that's not real, and insulting to those who genuinely deserve my gratitude.

Heroes

I have some new personal heroes, people who are inspiring me, adding to my courage, and frankly, renewing hope. Their names are Damon Fowler, Jessica Ahlquist, and Harrison Hopkins. All three have and are fighting to maintain a separation of church and state in our public schools, and have faced trials and tribulations that make anything I dealt with in high school seem minor in comparison. Let me tell you a little bit about them.

Jessica Ahlquist is a high school sophomore in Cranston, RI. She and a friend noticed a painting of a "school prayer" in the auditorium. Eventually, she decided to support the removal of the prayer, and when she had a chance, spoke to a sub-committee meeting about having it removed. Naturally, she thought that they would remove it, since it's obviously a constitutional violation. Well, sadly, she was wrong. After a number of meetings, and various news reports, the school board voted to keep the prayer. Many of her fellow classmates have vilified her and harassed her.  Well, happily, she hasn't given up. She's taking them to court with the assistance of the ACLU. You can find more detail at her blog. The very first post tells the story.

Harrison Hopkins is a senior, graduating this year, at Laurens District High School in Laurens, SC. Inspired in part by Jessica's activism, he contacted the ACLU and the Freedom From Religion Foundation last April regarding the plans of his school to put it to a vote whether or not to have a prayer at graduation. See, he understands that even if the majority said "yes," it would still be unconstitutional. After the FFRF sent a letter to the school, the vote and prayer were officially canceled. Despite receiving backlash from his community, he too is continuing the fight. The graduation hasn't taken place yet, so we'll see what happens.

Damon Fowler I've talked about before. A senior in Bastrop, LA, he pointed out the law forbidding prayer at graduation to his school superintendent, said he would contact the ACLU if the prayer happened, and after consulting their attorneys, the school officially canceled the prayer. When Damon was outed as the letter writer, he suffered a "shitstorm" from his community. One of his teachers publicly insulted him in a local paper, he received threats of violence, and even death threats. The worst part? Eventually, his parents disowned him. His story went international, and the outpouring of support, emotionally, pragmatically, and even financially, has been absolutely amazing. Greta Christina wrote up a very nice summation and op ed piece on Damon's story over at AlterNet, and I highly suggest reading it.

So, now let me tell you why I find these three so heroic I would call them "personal heroes," a phrase I have rarely applied -- actually, never. They have taken a stand for what they believe in, despite severe opposition. They have faced up to those who ridicule, hate, and vilify them for being atheists, for wanting to see a separation of church and state, and for daring to speak up. The hardships they've endured are appalling. They've lost friends and acquaintances (and Damon lost family). I imagine that it's been emotionally difficult as hell at times, but they maintain and continue. Not a one of them indicates any serious regret for what they've done, and continue to do. They show a courage I can only hope to mirror. Their willingness to sacrifice of themselves for a greater good, for the rights of everyone (because make no mistake: church/state separation is good for everyone, not just atheists), shows a potential future for America and the world that is bright indeed.

If you want to learn more about these three in their own words, they've got a question and answer bit going on over at Reddit. Here's the link.

----This next bit gets a lot more personal. Stop if you don't want to see it, or you think you don't want to know. Keep going, and you take responsibility for gaining that knowledge.----

Here's the hard part. Heroes, by their actions and stories, call on us to be better than we've been, and to reach for our highest potential. They encourage us to step up and show the world what we're made of. Heroes encourage us to do, rather than simply be. Heroes . . . inspire.

If heroes inspire us to do things, then these three young people must surely have inspired me to do something, right? Yes, but it's not easy. I've lived for a long time with a fear that if my family, whom I love a great deal, ever found out that I'm an atheist, it would be . . . problematic. I've feared the pain that I might cause them, and I've feared ostracism and loss. My family is (so far as I know) Christian, one and all. My grandfather's a pastor, my mother "born-again," etc. When I was given a subscription to Discover Magazine at the age of 13 by my mother, she warned me that if I started talking about evolution, that subscription would be taken away. So, I think I've had good reasons for my fear (that's just one example). And because of those reasons, I've hidden myself from them. I've not directly lied by claiming beliefs I don't have, but I've dodged topics of discussion and kept my mouth shut. When I've written online in forums or comment sections of atheist/humanist blogs, I've done so under a pseudonym, just in case (that's also just in case a potential employer should ever google me). I've been hiding less of late then in the past, and censoring myself less, but . . .

But this means that my family doesn't know me. This means I can never let them be close, know who I am. Yet, I believe truth is important, very important. Truth matters. Reality is better than an illusion. And if three young people not even out of high school can face down entire communities, then I should be able to face my own fears.

Hi, my name is Nathan Salo Tumberg. It's a pleasure to meet you. I believe that humanity is a wonderfully fascinating, evolved creature, that is hopefully still evolving. I believe we have huge potential for good, and huge potential for evil. I believe that we are completely capable of being moral. I believe that meaning is all around us, in the lives we create for ourselves, the connections we make to our fellow inhabitants of this universe. I believe that critical thinking is one of the best tools we've devised, ever. I believe that questions are good, even great, and that discussion is even better. I believe that reality is more important than comfort. I believe that compassion is powerful, and key to morality. I believe in freedom and rights, and that these are worth fighting for. I believe that humanity is capable of being greater than we have ever been before, but I do not know if we will be.

I do not, however, believe that a god, any god, is necessary to, or for, the universe, morality, meaning, hope, or anything else. This life is what we have, and it's up to us to live it. If you don't like what I believe, that's fine. You don't have to. I'm open to discussion, but if you'd rather not, that's fine too. I'm not about to force myself or my thoughts on you.

My name is Nathan Salo Tumberg. Occasionally, I think. Would you care to have a discussion?